


Pretty As A Flower

by dreamfilledclouds



Category: EXO (Band), 소녀시대 | Girls' Generation | SNSD
Genre: Angst, Character Death, I'm sorry I have no idea what else to tag, Multi, Not Main Character Death, Side Ships, Slow Burn, Tragedy, Very Few Mentions of Blood, multi ships, side characters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-12
Updated: 2018-01-12
Packaged: 2019-03-03 23:27:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13351725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreamfilledclouds/pseuds/dreamfilledclouds
Summary: He turned the petal over in his hands, tracing its intricate veins, and soft delicate texture.  And with every petal, he knew.  He loves me not.





	Pretty As A Flower

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, dear prompter!
> 
> You have no idea how much I loved this prompt, and I really hope it meets your expectations! Background on hanahaki is actually really limited, so there are lots of deviants (things I added) in order to make it more interesting. Having said that, this is only a part of the fic, but I will be finishing and adding the rest soon!
> 
> Regardless, I hope you give this fic a try, and I hope you enjoy it!
> 
> A million thanks to the wonderful Mi for listening to my troubles and whines and helping a whole lot with flower vomit talk! And a million, wonderful thanks to the ever wonderful, and extremely helpful mods who helped me a lot, and for their endless patience and kindness. Thank you for running this wonderful fest, as well. I am truly grateful for all you've done.

Bright sunny day, with a few pure white clouds scattered about; the weather a perfect warmth without any heat.

It was going to be a good day.

It was going to be good, it was going to go well, and it was going to be okay—

“Are you narrating in your head again?”

Joonmyun pursed his lips. He found this little comment from Jongdae a tiny bit insulting, especially when he has barely looked up from his phone in the last hour on their trek to work.

“Shut up.”

 

 

“Where are you going?” Joonmyun asked, watching Jongdae go in the opposite direction of the elevators.

“Gotta check in with Yixing hyung regarding the manuscript I was supposed to be editing.” Jongdae said, waving his hand in a vague notion. “I’ll check you later, hyung.”

“Okay.” Joonmyun nodded, shifting his messenger bag, before making his way to the elevators.

Joonmyun rolled his shoulders, trying to get that ache out of them as he went over all the work he still had to do.

“Did you hear about Juhyun?”

Luhan was walking right behind him, with two Styrofoam cups in his hand, offering one to Joonmyun.

“Thanks.” He said, as he took a sip. _Too bitter_ , but exactly what he needed after finishing his work late last night. _The overtime is not worth it_ , nor was the headache he felt coming on as he pinched his eyes closed. It’s only Tuesday.

“Juhyun from the teens lit section?” He asked, watching Luhan through squinted eyes.

“Yeah,” Luhan said as he pressed the up button to the elevator, before his hand went back to tuck his tie in his jacket, “She had the op done last weekend.”

“Oh,” _Of course, what else could there be to talk about first thing in the morning_ , Joonmyun sighed, “Anyone know who it is?”

Luhan shrugged, “Some people think it might be Chanyeol. They found some sunflower petals scattered around her desk.”

Joonmyun exhaled heavily, before running his hand through his hair. It was only 8:27 and his hair was already a mess.

“Heard it was a close call.” Luhan murmured, as he climbed into the elevator.

“Does Chanyeol know?”

“I think that’s what made it a close call.”

 _Of course_. Anyone who knew Chanyeol knew that he would never— _could_ never let anyone hurt because of him. But you can’t lie to love, or its flowers. The flowers hate liars, no matter their intentions. And knowing Chanyeol—

“That sucks.”

“Yeah.”

Neither of them says it, but they both knew. _This is just how life is._

 

It was only Tuesday.

 

 

Falling in love is dangerous.

And it is as simple and as complicated as that.

Requited love is a lot less common than anyone would like to believe. Any other love was not an option.

 

 

“Morning.” Joonmyun said to no one in particular, and got a few ‘good morning’ mumbles in return. Glancing to the cubicle to his right, he saw it still empty.

“It’s already past eight-thirty, and Minseok hyung is still not here?” Joonmyun asked, surprised, knowing Minseok and knowing exactly how efficient and punctual he was, to a near fault.

Luhan frowned, tilting his chair to the side to glance at the empty chair.

“He was complaining about feeling sick yesterday, so maybe he took the day off? I mean, he’s never done it before, but there’s a first time for everything?”

“Maybe.” Joonmyun nodded, settling into his chair, ready to start another day.

 

 

Love was—is, and always will be dangerous.

Joonmyun reclined back against his chair, shoulders aching from hunching over his computer for too long. He should be working right now, not thinking about things that can’t be helped.

That—of course, was easier said than done.

He really wished he didn’t have to hear about these things first thing in the morning.

 

When it comes to love, he’s always been a bit of a coward, he knows, as he recalls certain moments of something in his life. Funny enough, he can’t really tell whether he minds it or not.

Minds having been a coward, that is.

Or minds being a little bit lonely.

But this cowardice has kept him safe, so far. He was always too scared to fall in love, too scared to ever really like anyone.

 

 

Sehun, a newly promoted intern in one of the offices one floor up, leaned over the low wall of Joonmyun’s cubicle, with a file in his hand, his usual stoic expression on.

“Told me I should give this to you.” Was all he said.

“Oh, great.” Joonmyun leafed through it, before raising one eyebrow, “What did they say I should do?”

“They said you’d figure it out.” Sehun replied, which in Sehun talk means that he couldn’t have been bothered to really pay attention to it. Joonmyun snorted, remembering how he always wondered how Sehun managed to even land an internship with their publishing company, with his sloth-like tendencies and dead expression, before he realized just how hardworking Sehun was, watching him run around—or in his case, walk _really_ briskly—trying to help everyone when their servers were down.

“Right. Thanks, Sehun.” Joonmyun said, smiling.

“Yep.” Sehun responded, already making his way out.

Joonmyun grinned, _brat._

“Oh, Sehun.” Joonmyun called, remembering the extra movie ticked he had after Kyungsoo cancelled on him.

Sehun turned, eyebrow raised.

“I have an extra for the late show tonight. Are you free?”

Sehun shrugged, and left, and Joonmyun figured that he’d take that as a yes.

 

“Huh.” Luhan said, entering where Sehun just exited, making his way to his desk.

“What?”

“For such a robot, Sehun’s got a really sweet smile.”

 

 

“Not going out for lunch?” Baekhyun asked, stretching his arms over Joonmyun’s cubicle wall.

“No, I’m not working over time again. I can get a lot more done sitting and eating at my desk than in the time it takes me to walk all the way to the cafe and order something.” Joonmyun sighed, feeling the hours in his right shoulder.

Baekhyun nodded, “True. But you still have to meet Jongin, you know? We keep talking about you, and you never show, and now he’s almost positive you’re either a prank we’re trying to pull, or a phantom.”

“You make me sound like a workaholic.” Joonmyun laughed.

“Not yet, but you’re getting there. Besides, now we have two adopted kids.”

Joonmyun snorted, “Didn’t you call him a brat two day ago?”

“I did, but all children are brats, but we parents love them anyway. Anyway, I’ll see you later, hyung.” Baekhyun grinned, his mouth a perfect square.

“See ya, Baek.”

 

 

“Joonmyun.” He heard a voice call his name and looked up to see Yixing standing behind him.

“Xing, what’s up?” Joonmyun asked, twisting his chair to face Yixing.

“Not much, but it’s a rough time with that flu going around, so we’re a little short staffed, and I need more hands. I’ve asked Luhan, but he’s already got extra loads since Minseok hyung isn’t here.” He explained.

“He’s never been absent before, right?” He said, standing up to see that Minseok’s desk was still empty.

“Yeah, he called Siwon hyung, telling him he wouldn’t be able to make it. He’s down with something.” Yixing said, his usual dimple absent, and eyebrows furrowed.

 _If Minseok hyung’s taking off, it can’t be something light_ , Joonmyun frowned.

“Must be the weather.” Yixing said, doubtful, glancing over at Minseok’s desk.

“Maybe,” Joonmyun nodded, before he turned his attention to the files in Yixing’s hands, “So. What do you want from me?”

Yixing grimaced slightly, before he said, “I’ve already got Chanyeol working on a share of this, but it’s still not enough. Do you mind, Joonmyun?”

Of course Joonmyun minded, but this was Yixing, and this was his job.

“Of course not.”

 

_So much for not working overtime._

 

 

“Hyung.”

“Oh,” Joonmyun looked up to see Sehun leaning over the cubicle wall, in the exact same place and way as this morning. _Deja vu_ , but Joonmyun knew how meticulous Sehun could be about the most mundane things.

“Oh, crap.” Joonmyun groaned, noticing Sehun’s backpack hanging off his shoulder.

“You forgot.” Sehun said, small smile on his mouth.

“No—not really—yes, yes I did. I’m so sorry, Sehun, and after I invited you. I just got so swamped after lunch break,” he sighed, gesturing to all the folders gathered in teetering towers all over his desk, “with all this work. How does anyone make it out here before eight?”

Sehun laughed, “The same way you did, hyung, before you got that promotion.”

“I’m beginning to think that that raise just isn’t worth it.”

Sehun smiled, his eyes crinkling shut as he watched Joonmyun indulgently as he vented.

“You’ve worked hard, hyung.” He said, sweet and sincere, and Joonmyun laughed softly, tired, but grateful for Sehun.

“Thanks, Sehun.”

Joonmyun glanced the clock, watching the minute hand change from thirty two to thirty three.

“Okay.” He said, standing up stiffly, drawing a laugh from Sehun. He reached out to take the file Sehun had been leafing through, and whacked him lightly over the head.

“Brat.” He grumbled.

“Old man.” Sehun smirked, his eyes twinkling.

“Well,” Joonmyun began, a pout in place, as he packed his things in his worn out messenger bag, “I was going to say that since we’re going to miss that movie—”

“Thanks to you.”

“— _brat_ —that I’d treat you to dinner. But I don’t think I want to anymore.” Joonmyun finished, his face turned up like a kid. Oh, he feels foolish alright, but it’s too late to stop now.

This made Sehun really laugh, his eyes crunched up tight, one hand over his mouth.

“Okay, okay. I’m sorry, hyung. Please take me out to dinner.” He said, mirth still shining bright in his eyes.

“You’re a brat, Oh Sehun.” Joonmyun grumbled.

“Yes, okay.” Sehun laughed.

“But what are you still doing here?”

“Nothing in particular.” Sehun said, smiling shyly as they got into the lift.

Joonmyun grinned.

 

 

“Hyung.” Sehun called as he plucked some of Joonmyun’s fries.

“Brat.”

Sehun snorted.

“What is it?”

“What do you think your flower is?” He asked, wiping the residue oil off his hands.

Joonmyun groaned, “Enough of that. Why does that have to be brought up into every conversation?”

“Love is everywhere, hyung, regardless of its form.” Sehun said, sticking his straw into his soda.

Joonmyun sighed, lips in a pout as he regarded Sehun, “I guess that’s true, but I really hate how insightful you are at times. Just stop, I’m the hyung here.”

Sehun laughed at that, his eyes crinkled into pretty half moons, which sent a soft kind of warmth through Joonmyun.

“I think you’re a dahlia, hyung.” Sehun said, as he watched Joonmyun.

“A dahlia?” Joonmyun raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah. Dahlias have so many meanings, you know, even more so based on colour. But they’re constant in their commitment to people, and recognized for their grace, and inner strength, and their constant kindness even in the worst kinds of situations. Plus, they’re just really pretty, with so many petals, it kinda feels endless. I think that’s what you are, hyung.”

 _And hey, no one’s ever said anything like that before_.

“Thanks, I guess, Sehun.” Joonmyun grinned, lopsidedly, his mouth not doing what it’s supposed to.

Sehun shrugged, “You can stop not believing in yourself one of these days, hyung. You think we don’t see you, but we do. We see everything you’ve done, and everything you do.”

Joonmyun laughed, taking a sip of his drink.

“In that case... a daisy.” He said, wide smile on his lips.

Sehun frowned, “What about a daisy?”

“I bet that’s what you are; a daisy. You’re a lot more innocent than your appearance lets on. Innocent and sweet, and hardworking. Even while being serious, you’ve got the mindset of a child; still so open-minded and filled with hope and optimism. That’s what you are, Oh Sehun.” Joonmyun smiled, watching Sehun’s eyes widen, before he frowned, flattening his bangs across his forehead.

“That’s so uncool, hyung.” He mumbled, his lips pouty, but the tell tale redness of his ears told another story.

“Sure it is.” Joonmyun laughed, reaching out to ruffle Sehun’s hair, causing a groan from him, along with a hidden smile.

 

 

Reaching home, Joonmyun kicked his shoes off, not caring if they made the entrance way messy or not. He was just tired.

He stretched as he made his way to his bedroom, tossing his messenger bag on his dresser.

“I’ll shower in the morning.” He mumbled as he shucked his clothes off, and threw on his pyjamas, before he fell onto his bed. Before he could relax, he got up again, and walked to Jongdae’s bedroom. He heard soft snoring from inside, before he turned back to his room, ready to call it a night.

 

Joonmyun didn’t know it at first, didn’t notice it, but he hates silence—the quiet. The utter lack of... anything.

It’s like a heartbeat in his head, when it gets too quiet. It bounces around, like a ball with too much spring, not stopping for so long that it leaves an echo in his head for days after.

As tired as he was, he spent an hour just tossing and turning and switching to staring at his ceiling, the deafening silence roaring in his ears.

It was long after an hour before his mind and body finally caved.

 

 

“Morning.” A low voice mumbled.

Joonmyun turned to see the newcomer come in just a little before nine, “Minseok hyung. I heard from Yixing that you called in sick. What happened?”

“Cutting it close, are we?” Luhan said, as he rounded the corner to his cubicle behind Joonmyun’s.

“Yeah, I know. I’ve already gone to see Siwon hyung. I called him yesterday, too. I just felt... off. Not really sick, just something.”

Joonmyun frowned, “Did you take anything? Hyung, you look—”

“Like utter shit.” Luhan grinned, reclining in his chair.

Joonmyun rolled his eyes, before he turned back to look at Minseok again.

He really did look bad. Sunken eyes, pale skin, and an overly pallid complexion, like he hasn’t gotten any rest in weeks.

“Hyung, have you lost weight?”

“Could be,” Minseok shrugged, brows furrowed as he arranged his files on his desk, “I don’t know.”

“You said that months back, Minseok. I thought you said you were going to get checked out.” Luhan frowned, rolling his chair towards Minseok’s cubicle next to Joonmyun’s.

“I know, and I did. But everything came back clean. There was nothing wrong as far as the doctors could tell.” Minseok sighed as he took off his jacket, sitting heavily in his chair.

“And it’s gotten worse?” Chanyeol’s deep voice interrupted, as he leaned over Joonmyun’s cubicle.

“Yeah. At first, it was kind of there, but not really there? Some days I was perfectly fine, I felt completely normal. But then other days, I felt like this. It’s gotten progressively worse since then, and in the last two weeks, it’s felt like a rapid decline. I just feel wrong all the time. Like I might be dying? But from what?” Minseok groaned, burying his face in his hands.

Joonmyun felt dread and anxiety settle in the pit of his stomach.

“Hey,” Luhan reprimanded, flicking Minseok on the tip of his nose, “No death talk so early in the morning. I’m sure it’s nothing if the doctors can’t find anything. You’ll be okay, Baozi.”

Minseok smiled wanly, “Thanks, Lu.”

 

 

“Oh, hey Chanyeol.” Joonmyun said, as reached the vending machine at the end of their floor.

“Oh, hey, hyung. Hungry? There’s something wrong with this machine, so after swallowing the first money I put in, it coughed up four packets of chips and three sodas when I tried the second time.” Chanyeol frowned, trying to balance everything in his arms.

Joonmyun laughed, before he reached out to help Chanyeol.

“Lucky you, then. Free food. Who doesn’t love free food?” Joonmyun grinned.

“Yeah,” Chanyeol laughed, “Lucky me.”

“You’ve been busy lately,” Joonmyun noted, eyeing Chanyeol as they made their way back, “Even more so than me, which is weird because I’m always busy.” Joonmyun laughed.

“Yeah, I’ve been trying to keep busy lately; trying to stay a little more focused on work.” Chanyeol nodded, his brow furrowed.

Joonmyun nodded, lips pursed.

There was a short silence, before Chanyeol broke it.

“How’s Jongdae doing?” He asked softly, glancing at Joonmyun out of the corner of his eye.

Joonmyun exhaled softly, before he bumped into Chanyeol, throwing him a little off balance.

“Don’t do that to yourself, Chanyeol. You can’t control these things. You can’t blame yourself for how others feel; that’s not how it works. Besides you know how the ops work; there’s no pain. The feelings are completely gone. Jongdae is fine, I promise.” Joonmyun squeezed Chanyeol’s arm, giving him a half smile which Chanyeol barely returned.

“I feel—That sounds like it will hurt, too. It sounds like it will hurt by just having the memory of it, even if there’s nothing to feel anymore.”

Joonmyun sighed softly, before he reached out to pat Chanyeol on the back, “How are you doing? I heard about—Juhyun.”

Chanyeol shrugged, “Yeah. If I could, I‘d tear myself apart, you know?”

“Chanyeol—”

“I don’t mean it in a bad way, and I know it sounds dramatic, but I really would. I’d tear myself apart and give it all away to whoever comes around looking for it. I wouldn’t mind.” He said quietly.

“I know you don’t, and that’s what makes you you, Chanyeol. There’s nothing wrong with you; you didn’t do anything wrong. Never doubt that. Never doubt yourself.”

“Yeah, hyung.” Chanyeol smiled, although it didn’t reach his eyes.

 

Sitting himself back at his desk with his free goodies, Joonmyun sighed. He heard a chair squeak on its wheels before he felt Luhan’s hand reaching over his shoulder to take the extra packet of chips he got from Chanyeol.

“The vending machine finally working again?” He asked, already munching on the stolen chips.

“No. Chanyeol tried the machine twice, and on the second try, he got three extra packets of chips, and two extra sodas.” Joonmyun explained, opening his own packet.

“Lucky Chanyeol.” Luhan said, wheeling to the edge of their row to glance at Chanyeol on the opposite side.

Luhan sighed, squeaking back to his desk.

“Wonder when the sun will come out again.”

 

 

 _Hey, hyung. Do you have a folder of mine there?_ 11:09

 _No? Why would I have it? Did you leave it somewhere?_ 11:11

 _Crap. I can’t find it anywhere._ 11:12

 _Okay, calm down, Baek. I’ll help you look._ 11:12

 _Baek?_ 11:15

 _Baek??_ 11:23

 

 _Crap_ , Joonmyun thought as he left his office. Baekhyun was never good in situations where he lost something. Joonmyun felt the anxiety creep up the back of his neck as if he was the one who misplaced the folder.

Rushing to reach the elevators, Joonmyun pressed the up button, before he noticed both elevators being held up on much lower floors.

“Of course it is.” He groaned, glaring at the floor indicator.

_No, it’s fine; it’s only two floors up._

Rushing up four flights of stairs, Joonmyun made a sharp left for Baekhyun’s desk, only to find it empty.

“Are you kidding me?” He groaned, running a hand roughly through his hair.

“Are you okay?” A deep voice asked from behind him.

Joonmyun turned to see someone he’s never seen before; which is saying something, since he’s been here for years, and he already knows everyone’s _birthdays_.

He’s tall, dark eyes and full lips, with perfectly coiffed hair, dressed in a simple white shirt and dark, pressed pants, his skin the colour of someone who’s always out in the sun. He looks... good. Really good. More of a model, than someone you’d find working in a publishing company.

“Um—” The man said, frown on his face as he watched Joonmyun worriedly.

“Oh! Oh, yes, absolutely fine. Sorry about that.” He said, trying to smile reassuringly, probably failing too, if the look on the man’s face was anything to go by.

“Are you looking for Baekhyun-ssi? He left for lunch twenty minutes ago.” He said, motioning in the direction of the elevators.

What.

“What?” Joonmyun groaned, feeling annoyance creeping up his neck at Baekhyun’s antics.

He’s been trying to get Joonmyun out of his office the entire week, but to no avail. Although nothing he’s tried so far has gone quite so low. He knows Joonmyun knows how he gets when he loses things, or if they go missing.

“Hyung, you’re becoming _boring_.” He said, _that brat_.

The stranger’s eyes widened in mild alarm, “I can call him if you want? Is it an emergency?”

“No, no, it’s fine. Just tell him that Joonmyun stopped by and that he’d wring his neck later. Thanks, and sorry for the trouble.” Joonmyun nodded, smiled and started to make his way back.

“Wait, you’re Joonmyun?” Joonmyun turned to see, that if anything, this man’s eyes went even wider.

Joonmyun raised an eyebrow, “Yes?”

“You’re _real?_ ” He leaned forward, as if expecting Joonmyun to be an apparition.

What?

Oh.

 _Oh_.

“Oh, you must be Jongin? I thought Baekhyun was kidding.”


End file.
